Link and the Passion of Dead Hand
by GestaltReplicant
Summary: Link gos into the SHDAOW TEMPLE to find the sage of shadow but first he is enveloped in horniness...and gets ministerred by the mysterious beast called DEAD HANDD!1 Tihs is a brake story from my Reyna epic to improve sex writing NO FLAMES.


**Hey all! I desided to take a brake from Reyna for a chappie to improve my skills at writing the sexeh scenes because my new beta reader said my other ones was written like "a damned dog shit on the sidewalk you don't notice until you walk into it – it doesn't physically hurt you, but the mental scarring is deep and permeating" (lol i don't know what permating means).**

**So here's a sex practice with characters from THE LEGEND OF ZELDA that I cant wait for u all to c. **

**HAPPY READING AND DON'T FLAME**

**This storie is dedicated to Ocarina of Time 3D because without the new version I would have never been inspired to write this.**

~~THE LEGEND OF ZELDA: CARESSING IN THE DARK~~

Hi my name's Link and I'm the hero of time as prophesized by the sages in times that were in the long past before all we know today was now. I was right now walking around a dungeon in the hidden deeps of Hyrule, locked behind a graveyard with a circle of torches marked with blight.

So I was just walking down the hallways in my green tunic with that one funny hat that looks like an fish from the back but more like a beak from the side **(A/N: specifically a flamingo beak because they're more beaklike than other beaks).** So I was wearing those things but also tights and gauntlets and boots and a shield and the master sword and all my items which I was dragging behind me in a giant duffel bag **(A/N: this makes more sense than in the games).**

So I was in this hallway where there were all these paintains taaht were the same of this one women with a skull face and awesome goth hair. I found myself wanting that hair, and maybe to change my wardrobe to fit the gothic sensibilities of this dungeon. I could feel its sexy darkness entering my pores in an emotional and icy rain.

It's the Shadow Temple, but all I feel is icy heat.

So I'm still walking in the hallways and I noticed that the walls have to be hiding something so I went into the duffel bag and called out loud "LENS OF TRUTH" and it flew into my hand and I raised it above my head and a purple circle popped up around the outer edge of my vision with a clear circle inside it that showed the truth.

I saw a door behind one of the paintains and there was a doorknob on it so I opened it and found…

THE ENTIRE ROOM WAS MADE OF SKULLS! All the floors and walls and ceiling were made with skulls and skulls and skuls all packed togather in a wall formation so it would stick together and they were mortared with mud. So I looked all around the room but saw nothing and was about to leave when something caught me eye.

I lokked behind me to see a pale hand with finely fined red nails making sexy come hither motions with its fingers **(A/N: like the women in those old movies).** So I went up to it and it came higher out of the ground…and higher…and higher still until it was 6 feet tall! I was amazed and stounded so went close to it and it started making purr noises.

The red nailed finger caressed my chin like a lover and it made me go into a kind of trance. But then the hand went lower, making a swirling motion on my chest. And then it went lower across my stomach, and all of a sudden it was undoing my pants!

The cold clammy hands ran up and down my gleaming manliness like a packet of ice sliding along a hot stick. I instantly hardened and let myself fall into the ministerings of the mysterious ground hand. I could just almost hear another hand erupt from the ground, followed by yet another. One went to my under bags and jiggled them like dice in a bag and the other started to make circular motions around my backward entrance before pushing in.

Then three more hands came out of the skull ground. One scratched my head, another pressed the small of my back and the last starting making shadow puppets in the torchlight to entertain me with passable interpretations of chickens and horses. With all six hands accounting for my sex pleasure, my loving pleasure and my entertainment pleasure I was in the bliss.

I could feel myself building, and then…it emerged from the ground. Some kind of beast made of white goop, with stubby chicken wing arms and a big detachable jaw! All six hands only increased their force as the big goopy thing waddled over and then lowered its head. I thought it was going to eat me before it slowly opened its mouth to reveal a long pink tongue.

The tongue traveled over every part of my body until it settled on my tiny manly entrance from which I was to erupt soon and made itself so skinny it pressed inside. The tongue went all the way down and into my entire body, examining me from the inside just like it had on the outside. Then, it started sucking from the inside, and I released hard!

The tongue was actually a tube and it sucked all of my man essence into it and deposited it inside the beast, thus adding more white goop to the entity. "So it's made of the spendings of thousands of men! What stories it could tell" I thought inside my mind. I thought it would soon end, but it just keeped sucking like an infinite vacuum.

Soon all of my little soldiers were now part of the goopy thing and it looked content. The hands released me and I collapsed from pleasant exhaustion. I was so tired from all that happened…I never would have guessed I'd be pleased by this creature! I drifted off to sleep as it still watched over me like a lover with guarding and loving protection.

I dreamed of magic semen.

I woke up suddenly when I realized I couldn't move accept my eyes. The beast and hands were gone, but I was laying in a puddle of white goo. Even though it wasn't speaking I could here its voices in my head. "Become one of us…one of us!" I felt the animated semen start to cover me and enter my body through all my pores and all entrances like nostril and mouth. I could feel it moving all through my body, cold and salty sweet. I could feel it changing me from the inside out as I became part of it.

The beast returned and looked at me, and I realized I was to be its chosen for eternity and I was happy for it. I could feel my skin and blood and bones dissolving accept for my skull which now was changed and I grew four extra long arms and now had six of them. My body was now made of man seed, just like my new eternal partner.

We looked at each other before melding together, our white goop splurting and squishing all over the place. I realized that this was the greatest bliss mortal life could hope for…and I now knew my destiny. My partner knew it too. We had to share this with the world…but for now, we lay in love.

~~EPILOGUE~~

After I became a Dead Hand, Hyrule was left without a hero and the sages had to seal away Ganon inside the Sacred Realm by themselves. But this was no matter to me. My lover and I were planning…planning for the future. Soon our white arms would extend into the sewer systems of everywhere in the world into the toilets of the people, asking for little things like paper. But when the people finally trust us, we will capture and embrace them into our wonderful life.

Do not fear, Hyrule. I am still the hero. I just use a different means to find peace.

FIN

**So did you like it!? My beta reader quite on my though : He said this was "an act of unholy abomination that can only bring damnation on mankind" lol. So was it sexeh!? ^-^**

**Come back soon for more Reyna, and kisses!**


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